The Healing Power of Listening

Ashley Tyler

Welcome to Poetic Nursing: The Nurse's HEART. I’m Ashley Tyler, and I want to begin this episode by saying thank you for making the choice to invest in your growth today. You know, I’m so proud—of your dedication, your commitment to becoming not just healers, but transformative figures in the lives of those you serve. It’s an honor to walk this journey with you.

Ashley Tyler

Today, we’re diving into something really fundamental—Jean Watson's Caritas Process number five. It's about embracing positive and negative feelings as we authentically listen to another's story. You see, this isn't just some theoretical concept—it is at the heart of healing itself.

Ashley Tyler

And honestly, this episode might feel tender, even a little uncomfortable. But you know, that's the space where transformation happens. Because when we’re willing to listen without judgment, without rushing to fix, rescue, or respond, that's where the sacredness of nursing truly lives.

Ashley Tyler

Let me share this with you: I remember working with a new mom in the NICU. She was sitting there, watching her tiny baby nestled in an isolette, and you could just feel the weight in the air. I sat beside her, and for a moment, there weren’t any words—just her tears. What she needed wasn’t advice or reassurance; she needed space to feel. That moment taught me something I carry to this day—listening doesn’t have to come with answers. Sometimes, presence is the answer.

Ashley Tyler

And so, in this episode, we’re going to explore what it means to create that space. We’ll talk about the incredible power of acceptance—being able to witness both the joy and the sorrow that come with life, especially in maternal and child care. Because healing doesn't mean fixing—it means connection.

Ashley Tyler

Before we move deeper, I want to share with you this week's quote. It’s one of my favorites from Jim George: "To listen is, in truth, an act of love." So, let’s hold onto that thought as we continue our journey today. The act of love, the act of connection—it’s what makes this profession so meaningful.

Ashley Tyler

Let’s take a moment together to center by pausing to just breathe. Go ahead, take a deep breath in… and now exhale slowly. Let’s do that again. This time, breathe in with intention. Inhale calmly, and exhale any tension you might feel right now.

Ashley Tyler

Now, as you let your breath settle, allow yourself to feel rooted here, in this moment. You know, I think so often we rush through our days, don’t we? But when we pause—fully pause—we can create space to really listen, to truly be present. And that’s a gift we can give both to ourselves and to others.

Ashley Tyler

I want you to ask yourself something: When was the last time you truly felt heard? Not just listened to, but deeply heard? Maybe it was a friend offering silence, their presence saying more than words ever could. Or maybe it was a patient—a mother whispering a tearful thank-you. Or even... maybe it was a still, quiet moment alone, when you listened to your own heart whispering its truth. Whatever memory comes to mind, hold onto it for a moment. What did it feel like?

Ashley Tyler

This week’s Caritas theme, it invites us to listen without agenda. To listen with our whole self and honor the stories carried within others—and within ourselves. Because, in those moments, we offer something profound. A mother cradling her newborn in awe and fear, or maybe a father struggling to find control—our ability to be fully present, to authentically listen, can become a lifeline.

Ashley Tyler

I want to tell you about a moment that’s stayed with me for years. I was caring for a postpartum mother named Lila. Her baby was thriving, her vitals were stable, but I noticed something—that spark, that light you often see in new moms—it just wasn’t there. Days went by without a single smile from her, and my heart ached for her. As nurses, we learn to look beyond what's charted, don't we?

Ashley Tyler

One late night, during my rounds, I found her just sitting there. Quiet. Still. I decided to sit down beside her, but I didn’t say a word—something told me words wouldn’t reach her in that moment. So I sat. Minutes passed, and then, her tears started falling. Silently. And then she whispered, “I should be happy, but I feel empty.”

Ashley Tyler

I let her words settle. It would’ve been easy to jump in with what I thought she needed to hear, right? To reassure her or try to fix things. But I didn’t. Instead, I said, “Thank you for trusting me with your truth. I’m here.” Such simple words, and yet they carried an incredible weight because, in that moment, I was fully present with her pain—letting her know she wasn’t alone.

Ashley Tyler

That night, Lila finally slept peacefully. And honestly, it reminded me of something we often forget: Healing isn’t always about doing—it’s about being. It's about being willing to hold space for someone else’s pain without judgment, without rushing to find solutions. And sometimes, that's the most sacred thing we can offer.

Ashley Tyler

In Maternal and Child Nursing, the emotions are... raw. The stories, they’re layered. And honestly, the stakes—they’re high. It’s that unique space where joy and sorrow often walk hand in hand down the same hospital corridor. It’s both beautiful and heartbreaking, and it teaches us as caregivers so much about the complexities of being human.

Ashley Tyler

Picture this: A first-time mother sits quietly. Her baby is sleeping soundly in a bassinet beside her, and everything seems fine on the surface. Her chart says “no complications,” and yet... her eyes tell a different story. You sense it—that storm brewing beneath the surface. When you gently ask how she’s doing, she pauses. Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, she says, *‘I don’t know if I’m enough.’*

Ashley Tyler

What do you do? How do you respond in a moment like that? You sit—you stay. Instead of rushing to reassure her or brush away those feelings, you say, *‘I’m here. You don’t have to figure it out alone.’* Because really, it’s moments like these that define what compassionate care means, right? It’s not about fixing or offering easy solutions. It’s about being present... and allowing space for every emotion—the joy, the fear, the sorrow—all of it to exist without judgment.

Ashley Tyler

And that’s what I think we often misunderstand. Accepting someone’s pain doesn’t mean we agree with or amplify it. It means we’re... witnessing it. We’re saying, *‘Your feelings matter. Your truth matters.’* And that’s such a powerful thing. It’s intimate. It’s healing. And, honestly, it requires us to set aside our discomfort, doesn’t it? To resist the urge to rush in with words—or answers—when silence and steady presence speak so much louder.

Ashley Tyler

I want to share a story about a father's experience. Daniel was his name. His wife had just undergone surgery, and their baby girl was born prematurely. She was lying there in the NICU, surrounded by wires and blinking monitors. And every single day, Daniel stood by her side. I watched him—quiet, steady, always there. But you know, not once did he say much. He carried so much silently.

Ashley Tyler

One morning, I approached him carefully, gently. I asked, *‘How are you holding up?’* And I remember him pausing, his shoulders stiffening for a moment. Then he looked at me and shook his head. His voice broke as he whispered, *‘No one’s asked me that.’*

Ashley Tyler

In that instant, it hit me—I mean, really hit me. He wasn’t just holding in his emotions but carrying the weight of feeling invisible. No one had acknowledged his pain, his worry, his grief. And then, he just broke down. Tears streamed down his face, and we cried together, standing there in the middle of the buzzing NICU. Neither of us said a word. It was just... silence, raw and honest.

Ashley Tyler

And you know, that moment has stayed with me for years. Because it taught me something profound about what it means to truly care. Care isn’t confined to the patient in the bed or the one whose name is on the chart. It’s about seeing everyone in the room—Daniel, his wife, their baby. Everyone had a story, a burden they were carrying. And my role wasn’t to fix it; my role was to acknowledge it, hold space for it, and let them know they weren’t alone.

Ashley Tyler

When we talk about authentic listening, we don’t mean rushing in with answers or words to fill the silence. No, real listening—true, compassionate listening—is about being present with someone’s pain, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. And it’s hard, isn’t it? To allow the grief, the joy, the fear, and the love to all exist together in one space. But that’s what makes it sacred; that’s what makes it healing.

Ashley Tyler

There's a reflection from one of my students that I can’t stop thinking about. Her name is Milvia, and she shared something that left a mark on me. She said, “Authentic listening to someone, whether it is a patient, a family member, or a peer, means being there without trying to fix things, just being with them. This is just a reminder that it is okay not to always have the perfect words. What matters most is how we show up.”

Ashley Tyler

And, oh, isn’t that the truth? I mean, we spend so much time searching for the right things to say, crafting responses that feel just... right. But sometimes, words aren’t what’s needed at all. Instead, it’s a willing heart, a quiet mind, and the courage to stay when emotions get heavy. Just *staying*, you know?

Ashley Tyler

In those moments, it’s important to remember that presence is the intervention. And, I know, there’s a voice in the back of your mind sometimes, isn’t there? One that whispers, “What if this isn’t enough? What if I don’t have the answers?” But listen, it’s okay. It’s okay not to have the perfect words. Because the truth is, it’s not the words that matter—it’s how we show up. It’s the choice to bear witness, to honor someone’s story, even when it feels overwhelming.

Ashley Tyler

Honestly, I think that’s one of the most challenging parts of nursing, isn’t it? To sit with heavy emotions and recognize that we can’t always take away the pain. But I want you to know—it’s those moments, those quiet acts of presence, that leave the deepest impact.

Ashley Tyler

So, when you’re sitting with someone who’s carrying more than they can hold, let them know this: *“This might feel overwhelming, but take it step by step. You’re doing great.”* Even simple words like these can bring comfort and remind someone that they’re not alone in what they’re feeling. Because, at the core of it, that’s what listening does—it connects, heals, it says, *‘I see you, I hear you, and I’m here.’*

Ashley Tyler

Now, it’s your turn to reflect with me for a moment. What does it mean to accept *all* feelings in our practice? Especially the ones we’d rather not confront—the grief of loss, the frustration of seeing a patient struggle, or even the doubt that creeps in about our own abilities. Do we even allow ourselves the space to sit with those feelings, or do we rush through them, hoping they’ll just... fade?

Ashley Tyler

And here’s something I want us to think about: When we’re listening in those hard moments, are we listening to respond, or are we truly listening to *understand*? You know, it’s such a simple question, but the difference between those two ways of listening is profound. When we listen to respond, our minds are already racing ahead, forming words, searching for solutions. But when we listen to understand, we’re present with that person, in that moment, bearing witness to their truth. And trust me, we can feel the difference—it’s like the air shifts, and healing begins to stir.

Ashley Tyler

Let me ask—what wisdom have you learned this week that someone else might need to hear? Maybe it’s a reminder to slow down, to breathe, or to approach a situation with a little more patience and grace. Whatever it is, hold onto that wisdom. Because you never know whose life it might touch, right?

Ashley Tyler

You know, as you continue your Caring practice in maternal and child nursing, I want you to remember this: Behind every data point, every vital sign, every routine task is a human life. Behind every action, there’s a sacred opportunity to bear witness. And I’ll say it again because it’s worth repeating—be the nurse who stays. Be the one who says, *‘I’m here.’* Be the one who listens.

Ashley Tyler

As nurses, we often pour ourselves into others, right? But sometimes, we forget—or maybe we don’t allow ourselves—to really pause and listen inward. I’m reminded of a colleague I worked with once, a nurse named Joy. Oh, she was known on the unit for her incredible compassion. Families absolutely loved her, and her patients—well, they thrived under her care.

Ashley Tyler

But one day... one day, I found Joy in the medication room, just... breaking down. I mean, she was crying, and you could see—she was carrying so much pain that she hadn’t even realized was there. When I finally approached her, she could only whisper, *‘I’m tired of being strong.’* And those words—they stuck with me.

Ashley Tyler

That moment—it changed her. And honestly, it taught me something, too. Joy started carving out these daily mindfulness breaks, even if it was only for a few minutes. She began journaling, pouring her emotions onto paper right after her shifts—just a few thoughts, you know? But those little moments, they made such a difference.

Ashley Tyler

And you see, I think what that shows us is this truth: Listening to others, truly listening, begins with the willingness to listen to ourselves first. So often, we extend grace to everyone else, don’t we? But let me ask you—are you giving yourself that same grace and space? If not, maybe it’s time to start.

Ashley Tyler

Because, honestly, when we take the time to tend to our hearts, to hear what’s stirring inside, it doesn’t just nurture us. It makes us better nurses, better healers, and better humans. And that’s something worth holding onto, isn’t it?

Ashley Tyler

You know, as I think back on everything we’ve explored so far today, one thing stands out—it’s how foundational authentic listening is—not just as a skill but as an act of love and connection. We began by talking about Jean Watson’s Caritas Process and the profound healing that happens when we accept and hold space for all emotions, both the joyful and the difficult.

Ashley Tyler

We’ve shared stories, haven’t we? Stories of postpartum mothers, grieving fathers, and even our own reflections as nurses. And in every one of those moments, the essence was the same—it’s about being present. Present in the silence, present in the tears, present in the questions that sometimes have no immediate answers. It’s about letting someone know, I see you, I hear you, and I’m here.

Ashley Tyler

And more than that, we’ve reflected on how this doesn’t just apply to our patients or their families. It applies to us too. Listening, truly listening, starts inward, with the courage to hear our own hearts, to acknowledge our own needs, and to offer ourselves that same grace we so willingly give to others.

Ashley Tyler

Before we close today’s journey, let’s take one last moment to reconnect—to ourselves, to this moment. So, wherever you are, let’s begin by just coming back to your breath. Breathe in love, deeply... and now, breathe out—let go of resistance. Let’s try that again—breathe in love, and then breathe out that need to control. Because sometimes, you’ve just gotta let it all settle, don’t you?

Ashley Tyler

Now, take another breath for compassion—breathe that in fully... and exhale any weight pressing down on you. And as your breath steadies, I want you to hear this: It’s okay to give yourself permission to truly listen—not just outwardly, but inwardly too. Because, honestly, when we take the time to hear our own needs, we’re making space for deeper connection, for deeper healing. It starts with us, doesn’t it?

Ashley Tyler

And as we step away from here today, I want to leave us with this: Each time we show up—with presence, with authenticity, with care—it transforms not just those we serve but ourselves too. Listening isn’t just a skill; it’s an act of love. And every step we take—no matter how small—brings us closer to excellence in nursing and in life. We’re already making a difference. Remember that.

Ashley Tyler

So, my friends, thank you for spending this time with me—a space of reflection, of growth, of wholeness. I would love to hear your thoughts on this week's episode, and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Poetic Nursing: the Nurse's HEART. And share this episode with your friends and colleagues. And on that note, we’ll wrap it here. Take care of yourself, okay? And I’ll see you again soon.